That really got me thinking. How often do we wrongly prioritize our relationships? There are days when my schedule is so full, I consistently worry about making the next appointment on time, or how I'm going to fulfill that commitment when I'm having trouble even finding time to shower. Now, factor in my relationships with close family, then friends. It's overwhelming. It's like that vacation you spend months preparing for. It's all you can think about and it never truly leaves your mind, but there's a little piece of you that wonders if the stress of "making up for lost time" is even worth the break. But then when you finally step off the plane, dig your toes into the earth, and take a deep breath.....you know it was worth it. This is how time spent with my friends feels. It's time I don't have available in my schedule. It either takes away from family time, or work time, let alone the "me" time I'd hoped for months ago. It's hard to even imagine being able to relax and enjoy myself with such a full plate. Yet, when I arrive, settle into a few hugs, and open conversation, I wonder what I was even stressed about.
I love my husband and son very much. They are my world. If I lost everything, but them I'd still be grateful, happy, and content. They're the rock I hold firm too. But they can't support all of my needs. Just like myself, they too need things I cannot provide. Friendship is an amazing thing. My friends are so valuable to me. Each of them possess something special that helps to shape me as a person. We complain, brag, grieve, take and give advice, and listen to each other in ways no else would understand. Sometimes, you just need a girlfriend to listen, hug it out, and offer a warm and comforting smile. There's nothing quite like it.
I've come to learn that friendships come from odd and mysterious places. I've had my fair share of failed friendships. Looking back, I've learned two things. Either they were toxic and were not the kind of relationship I wanted, or they were one-sided. It's so hard to put a value on a friendship, but sometimes you need to step back and evaluate. Ask yourself what this relationship is doing for you as a person. Are you bettering each other for the good? Is the burden even and transparently clear? Or does one person have ulterior motives in mind? Once you can weight out the "health benefits" then you can decide what's worth the effort, and what's causing more effort than it's worth.
Over the past few years, I've had the ability to watch my son grow from a smily, albeit chubby, infant, to a handsome and charismatic young man. He's developed relationships of his own. Though he's still young, he's honest and open about what he needs and his friends are accepting and put judgement aside. They understand each other and respect the other person's boundaries. It is the purest definition of friendship. And the door swings both ways perfectly.
Friendship isn't always laughter and fun. There's hard days, difficult situations, and heartbreaking moments where we all must decide where we stand and how much of ourselves we are willing to give to the other person. It's a life lesson I'm proud to say I've failed at, as well as succeeded. But my friendships are constantly growing. Every day my husband and I grow closer. My girlfriends and I learn new things about one another and in return I learn new things about myself. My family and friends have aided in shaping who I am and who I will consistently choose to be. I owe them everything. There's few things I wouldn't do for any one of them, but hey...that's friends are for, after all.
